A long talk with a wise friend funneled my thoughts today.  I have been collecting tools to post here - items that have helped me, organizationally, through the years.  I have been making lists, checking them more than twice, rewriting, rereading, corralling, pondering... everything but actually, well, blogging.  Fascinated by this process, I brought the issue to the attention of said wise friend, and we laughed about the wonders of procrastination.

She reminded me that there is a piece that is missing from a lot of motivational materials.  A piece that, if missing, cannot be seen until a lot of other pieces have been put into place.  An example at this point is needed if I am to hold your attention much longer.

I have books about organization.  I have collected articles about the topic, even written a few. I have given speeches on time and project management.  I have books about motivation.  I listen to speaker tapes, watch videos, and attend workshops.  So Piece #1 is in place:  I am informed.

I have all the time in the world at the moment, as I am attempting to carve a freelance career out of thin air.  I have a ridiculous clean and organized home (after getting rid of 70% of my stuff, but that is another entry, probably titled "Former Hoarder with OCD Repents").  My children are in school and my time commitments during the week are minimal compared to times in the past... Piece #2:  I have time on my side, for the moment.

Piece #3:  Loving family, friends, boyfriend, awesome neighbors - support.  Check.

Piece #4:  Inner life is at rest, personal relationship with the God of my Midunderstanding is a work in progress but is in place.  Check.

I would go on, but you get the idea.  My circumstances are utopian compared to times in the past, so what piece is missing?  What is keeping me from meeting my personal goals, i.e. taking the actions, small baby-step actions toward my goal(s)?

Me.  I am standing in my own way, getting in my own way... I can learn all there is to know on motivation, but none of that knowledge will crawl into my head and change my habits.  I can have all the love and support in the world, but no one is going to tackle me and hold my goals list in front of my face, screaming that they will no longer speak to me if I don't meet my goals.  And I know my God loves me, even if I don't meet my own goals.  The piece that is missing is self-discipline + conflicting character defects + general stubbornness = great big mess.  But it is My Mess.

Next on Motivatica:  My Mess gets inventoried and analyzed by me in simple steps you can try at home in your spare time, as always, free of charge.