Damage Jr.

Damage Inc. - Kids and the Process of Elimination (continued disclaimer)

My children have been fascinated by this decluttering and dejunking process, as I am trying to make it fun.    But truthfully, I am thankful that there are people in my life who I love and who I am responsible for.  I am not sure how I would have felt if I had leveled the structure and been left standing alone and unaccountable.

I explained to them after yet another failed attempt at ego-driven fortitude that Mommy needed some things to change.  I told them, frankly, that they were being taught by outward example a way to live that didn't fit in with the things they were being told.  I asked them their forgiveness, and quietly included a sidebar that they had been given too many things when I wasn't sure what else to do, that instead of salving a wound, I handed them something to play with because I didn't know any better.  My attempts to instill order and peace were in the material world.  I was telling them they were loved unconditionally, but showing them that if you make it all pretty on the outside, if you keep the structure upright, the foundation doesn't really matter.  I thought I was loving them and providing for them, giving them things that they needed and wanted.  I was failing in the most simple way.  We didn't have time to be grateful for the little things, the simple things, because we were staring at the shiny stuff, holding on to the physical things and cramming the emotional questions and truths into neat, tidy Rubbermaid bins, stored in the back of overstuffed closets.

The humor of it all comes when I ask my son if he remembers any of the times I talked to him about my guilt, about how I handed him toys when he was young and I was a young mother, unsure of what to do when he was sad or our situation was scary.  I asked my kids just now, in fact, if they remembered any of the things I said to them while we were packing to move this last time.  They both said no.  The words, again, in the end, mean little and the outcome means little, but we rolled our eyes at each other when we remembered how MUCH stuff we used to have, and how we are still overly, extremely blessed.

Tune in for Part II - Running a Home Like a Business, and a Heart Like a Non-Profit, when You Don't Know How to Run Either.  Or maybe a title that is shorter.