What it really is will astonish and amaze you!!! Okay, not really, but it's important.
I have always been a shopper of the stock-piling variety. I take my coupons, look for deals, drive around (as much as my gas budget allows) and find the best stores, and then I pounce. I purchase as much of an item as I can afford AND can store. This means I am a lover of the economy-size, twelve SUPER MEGA paper towel rolls, the six-pack of deodorant, the half-gallon tube of toothpaste.
I have had to change my ways in the last six months, and the toilet paper above was one of my teachers. My motivational streak over the past two years has spawned four businesses, three of which are still alive and kicking. (If you are a child of the 80's, I say "alive and kicking," and you start singing the song in your head. It's okay . . . I am still hearing it too.) So, I am the proud Mama bear of two beautiful children AND their siblings, three new baby businesses.
NOTE: My legal team would like me to clarify that by "baby business," I mean a business in its infancy, it's early days, it's "born from conception and growing" phase.... NOT a business that sells baby items, or God forbid, a business that sells babies. That would be horrid and wrong. These are small, new businesses. We sell no living things. END OF LEGAL DISCLAIMER.
As the mother and founder of all these young things, I have a budget that won't even fit into a spreadsheet. I have sources of income, outgoing expenses, and of course the things my actual children need which take presidence over ANYTHING needed for the businesses.
So this month, the ROOF OVER OUR HEADS bill was paid. The FOOD IN KITCHEN is well taken care-of. The GAS IN CAR and KIDS' SCHOOL STUFF items were checked off. Other bills were paid or dealt with in some manner or fashion. Contracts were set up with writing clients, commissions checks are in the mail... everything was buttoned down and functioning nicely at a slick little clip.
Then one day we noticed we were out of toilet paper.
A note about my house: there is always something in one of the various nooks and crannies, so we never seem to run out of ANYTHING. Ever. You can ask me for anything from self-tanner to scotch tape to safety pins to a hemp backpack from Lollapalooza 92, and I probably have more than one tucked away somewhere. So, again, we are never OUT of anything. Not really.
We launched upon a search of the Indiana Jones variety, flashlights and all, searching every cupboard, every closet. No item of the TP kind could be located.
Kleenex and baby wipes and facial wipes - (oh my) - were located. Plumbing issues were discussed after I discovered with horror that we were essentially stuck in a house during dangerously cold conditions with a car that didn't like the below zero temps. We were stuck with sub-par options for bathroom mathematics.
I did not panic. But I was not going to ask our neighbors for TP. I just couldn't do it. The Kleenex worked, the baby wipes worked, and my children shook their heads at their mother, half making fun of me, half disappointed that my hoarder ways didn't pay off this time.
I went to buy toilet paper the next day only to discover that our automatic bills had come out BUT the payments had not yet come in, meaning that the only money I had to my name for the day was the change in my purse. You can buy one roll of TP, by the way.
The next day, I had a small amount that came in for something/a sale that went through, but still no other commissions, so we purchased the fine beauty you see above - a FOUR PACK!!! With a coupon by the way, and with my CVS card discount.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because for some reason in this world of expectations, I felt more shame about this whole process than needed. I also wanted to tell you this story because this is a story I wasn't going to tell anyone. Hence, it must be important.
The moral of the story: If you find yourself focusing on that ONE THING that you can't do the exact way you wish, like driving the car with the duct-taped bumper for now with dreams of a whole bumper someday, or living on a shoestring budget because your priorities are paid and you are building something important with every spare dime, I feel you. I do. I relate, and I totally understand how much you wish you could spring for Netflix or get the Super Sized meal.
Keep your eyes on the prize, and focus on the little successes. I have HUGE dreams and goals for myself and my children, for our family. HUGE. But those dreams will be built on a foundation of stability. A foundation of stability comes from daily right choices and an extensive use of the word "no." The pieces of that foundation are little things that become habits over time. And one of those habits is throwing your pride to the wayside like flipping your hair at a date to flirt, and understanding that your kids will totally survive on the off-brand toilet paper, and one roll, just for today, will do just fine.
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